If you can read this, I've lost the trailer

I don't have a beer gut, I have a protective covering for my rock hard abs.

I am not infantile, you stinky poopyhead.

If you can read this, you're not the president.

To err is human, to blame it on somebody else shows management potential.

Liberal Arts major: will think for food.

Visualize Whirled Peas

If you can read this, I've lost the trailer!

Stoplights timed for 30 mph are also timed for 60 mph.

I didn't climb all the way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

Don't treat me any differently than you would the Queen.